Non-judgmental communication is about moving beyond feeling like things are always being done to us to a perspective that this is how we are reacting to the environment and stimuli around us.
A slight perception shift that can empower us to regain control over how we react, by recognizing what is happening and how it is making us feel. We can then choose what we do with that information.
When we make accusations and point fingers, it shuts down opportunity to effectively build understanding, and can escalate conflict rapidly.
Take the following two statements:
“why would you do that?”
“I feel frustrated/hurt/upset/confused by what happened”
The first statement implies that there was something wrong done, and that there is defensiveness or anger by the person saying it.
The second statement is not significantly longer or complicated, but it removes all blame, illustrates to the other person how you felt about what happened.
When we share how we react to a situation, we take control and ownership over how we feel, and allow the other to hear exactly how we feel without having to make assumptions about it.
When we remove, blame and reduce assumptions we create a better foundation for forward looking and productive conversations.
For more discussion on how to craft non-judgmental communications come to our talk on it on Nov 9th, subscribe to our mailing list and like our Facebook page for more insights.